Making the Fear Free Ask: Managing the nine Nos of fundraising
Share This Article
This blog is an extract from the Making the Ask book and training programme by Bernard Ross and Clare Segal, directors of =mc consulting. You can find out of the book here.
Most fundraisers worry about one big thing: that the prospect will say “no”. But here’s the core insight. “No” usually doesn’t mean “No, go away”. It often means “ask me a better question”.
Successful fundraisers in the high value space who thrive don’t hear “no” as a rejection. They hear it as feedback. And pivot to a new approach.
People won’t always agree with your initial proposal for support. In fact, they often won’t agree. The reality is you are still likely to get a “no” more often than a “yes”. Beware hearing a definite “no”. The difference between a successful and an unsuccessful influencer is that they rarely accept the first “no” as a definitive answer. The successful influencer responds by being curious about what exactly the donor means.
There’s Darwinian logic to this, at least in fundraising. Put simply, if you only asked people who would definitely say “yes”, or if you only asked for the size of donation that you were sure they would definitely give, you’d:
- be working off a very, very small sample of prospects
- probably tend to ‘under-ask’ by framing your proposition very low (page 214 in Making the Ask).
And worse, you could be letting down your cause and the people you’re there to help.
To be successful as a fundraiser, you need to learn to deal with the possibility of rejection. And in particular you need to deal with initial rejection and be able to analyse it more closely. That first “no” may not be as bleak as it initially appears.
To help you manage and interpret the possible rejections you might experience, we’ve created a ‘no’ typology. In our experience, there are essentially nine fundraising nos used by prospects. With the first eight of these, if you follow up with a better question you may well get a better result. Only one of these responses – the last one – genuinely means ‘No, go away.’ And if you hear this ‘no’, you should leave. But mind you still say ‘thank you’ to the prospect for their time – see the box below for the possible payoff for good manners.
The nine fundraising “No”s are:
1. No, not for this.
2. No, not you.
3. No, not me.
4. No, not unless.
5. No, not in this way.
6. No, not now.
7. No, too much.
8. No, too little.
9. No, go away.
Each of these “no”s has an underlying reason or explanation that a skilled influencer will seek to uncover and that’s why dealing with “no” properly requires that you ask a different or better question rather than simply giving up.
The table below explores our nine fundraising noes typology. In it we suggest why you might get a particular “no”, what the donor might really want from you, and how you could respond in a way that might lead to a more positive outcome.
| No | Reason the donor gives | What is the donor really thinking and how might you respond? |
|---|---|---|
| 1. No, not for this | You’ve asked me to support your education programme for children, and I’m not interested in work with children. | Why don’t you ask me to support your work with adults or elders? I’m interested in that kind of work. If you know they are interested in your work, what specific aspect would they like to support? |
| 2. No, not you | I’m not comfortable with you soliciting this gift (the solicitor is maybe a 30-year-old woman and the donor a man of 70+). | I’m 70 years old and want to talk to someone my own age who shares similar life experiences and understands how I feel about the importance of a legacy gift. Who’s the right person to ask the donor? who will they feel comfortable with? |
| 3. No, not me | I’m not the right person to ask. I can’t or don’t make those decisions. | I don’t make these decisions. You should talk to my partner as she decides about our charitable giving. Who is the key decision-maker who will decide whether to back this proposal? |
| 4. No, not unless | You don’t seem to be offering me what I need or want in return for my gift. | I need to have my deceased partner’s name on this building as part of the gift fulfilment. What is it they really want and can you ethically or reasonably provide it? |
| 5. No, not in this way | You’ve asked me for cash, and I can’t help with that. | I could help with some other kind of support through my business interests, like vehicles, printing, and back-office services, but you don’t seem interested in other kinds of support. If not money, how else can they help? |
| 6. No, not now | I can’t help you at this time. | Why don’t you ask me for a donation in a year’s time after my daughter has graduated from university? When would be a good time to make this ask? |
| 7. No, too much | I can’t give you that amount of money. | I don’t have that sum available or it doesn’t fit with my commitment to your cause. Ask me for a different, lesser sum that will be meaningful for you and is within my range. What sum might be appropriate, acceptable and still help with your project? |
| 8. No, too little | I want to do something bigger and more important, and that sum doesn’t relate to that feeling or commitment. | Ask me for a different, larger sum that will be meaningful for me and relates to my ability to give. What kind of sum is appropriate, and can you use it properly? |
| 9. No, go away | No. | I’ve thought about your proposition and decided that it isn’t what I want to support. Say thanks and back away. Is the door permanently closed, or what might have to change for there to be a possibility of re-establishing the relationship? |
In truth, there are probably more than nine noes, but these are a good start in that they force you to listen carefully and actively to the response – “no” needn’t be final.
It’s especially important to try to work out which ‘no’ is being used when:
- You’re in a live one-to-one situation where the initial rejection might seem to be the end of the conversation. It helps you look beyond your own immediate reaction.
- You’re reviewing with a colleague who’s returned from an unsuccessful prospect visit, and they need help to identify what else they might have done.
P.S. — are you interested in when you should say “no”? There’s a nice exploration of this issue in a clever blog by Marina Jones Executive Director, Development & Public Affairs at English National Opera that you can read here.
Do you want to find out more about the Making the Ask training programme?
It’s an intensive one- or two-day training led by a skilled =mc consulting facilitator. In it you’ll learn to work though 20 neuroscience-based tools to use when you are engaged in major donor solicitation.
The programme has been used by major international charities to train their fundraisers including UNHCR Middle East, Greenpeace International, and WWF. In the UK we’ve helped boards and staff of British Heart Foundation, NSPCC, University of Edinburgh, York Museums Trust, Shooting Star Children’s Hospices and more. Domestic agencies include Australian Surf Lifesavers, Alzheimer’s Association USA and Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund USA. It’s helped raise single gifts up to $10M.